The Versions of Me I Had to Outgrow.

Sep 23

What if every version of you was helping you become her?

I recently found an old training I created years ago, where I had made a list of everything I was doing at the time.

And reading it now was... a lot.

I was working full-time, raising two little kids, building businesses, taking courses, teaching yoga, training clients, running retreats, managing properties, working on brands and websites, learning Reiki and tarot—and somehow convincing myself that this was all part of the plan.

The strangest part?

I wasn't doing all of it because I was bored or needed a distraction in my life…

I was doing it because I desperately wanted to build a life that would eventually give me more time and energy for my family.

Instead, I became exhausted, anxious, distracted and eventually very sick.

And this is where the story gets uncomfortable.

Because when I look back at those years, there are things I genuinely regret.

I wish I'd slowed down.

I wish I'd been more present.

I wish I'd cared less about proving myself.

And there are moments with my children that I wish I could go back and experience differently.

For a long time, I told myself:

I wasted those years.

But I'm starting to see that story differently.

Because the woman I was back then also gave me so much.

She taught me resilience.

Leadership.

Courage.

Creativity.

How to build things.

How to work through anxiety.

How to communicate with people.

How to trust myself.

How to recognize what actually matters.

And eventually, she taught me that being capable of doing something doesn't mean I have to keep doing it.

This episode is about the different versions of me I've been throughout my life; the achiever, the chameleon, the woman who said yes to everything, the woman who thought quitting meant failure, and what happened when I finally started asking a different question:

Do I actually want this?

Because maybe outgrowing yourself doesn't mean becoming someone completely different.

Maybe you don't have to hate who you were.

Maybe you can grieve what you wish had been different...

while still having compassion for the woman who was doing the best she could with what she knew at the time.

And maybe...

every version of you was helping you become her.

In this episode, I talk about:

- Why I became obsessed with doing everything

- The real reason I was building so many businesses and projects while my kids were little

- What it felt like to look back at that version of myself

- The difference between being capable of something and actually wanting it

- Why changing direction used to feel like failure to me

- What a failed business venture actually taught me

- Learning to define success for myself

- Why being good at something doesn't mean it's yours to keep

- How getting sick forced me to reconsider where I was putting my energy

- The regret I still carry around those years

- Learning to forgive myself without pretending I wouldn't change anything

- What I'm choosing to keep from the women I've been

- And why I no longer think I need to become someone completely new

A question to sit with:

When you look at a version of yourself you regret, what did she give you?

Not what did she do wrong.

Not what should she have known.

What did she teach you?

And what are you ready to stop carrying?

Work with Shauna

If something in this episode resonated with you and you'd like to explore working together, you can find my current offerings—including Intuitive Reiki, 1:1 Holistic Health Coaching, courses, workshops and retreats—through my Find Her practitioner page.

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